Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Loosey Goosey

When you have a lot of thoughts on a lot of different topics, but not enough on one in particular, you get lazy and write a Loosey Goosey column. There are more bullet points than transitions, and you feel rather guilty, but no one reading it seems to care. You then begin to question the point of your charmingly well-written but wildly underviewed web-blog, and you think it's not too bad to drink on Monday night after all. After a little while, you start prank calling past girlfriends and unfriendly neighbors until you run out of those and just start arbitrarily dialing. You finish off the booze and ask your roomate to go buy more, but won't let him back into the apartment because of "unforseen border restrictions". Two days pass and you consider treating the Oodles of Noodles noodles and Flavoring Packet as seperate meals. Before you know it, you've renamed your bedroom "Tijuana", and have sworn off underwear as a burden of the upper-class. All because you wrote one Loosey Goosey article. Oh well, at least you're getting paid. Oh wait.

  • Sean McAdam of the Projo seems certain that Keith Foulke will ultimately end up with the Red Sox. Today's Boston Herald suggests however that the A's are offering the closer 4 years at around 25 million. Don't see how or why the Red Sox will beat that. Is anyone else not that thrilled about watching Keith Foulke close games for three years anyway? His numbers are great, but there's something uninspiring about him. You could sign Williamson for two years right now for like 6 million. What's wrong with that?

  • If this Alex Rodriguez-Manny Ramirez deal happens, it will mark only the third time two future Hall of Fame players were traded for each other. That statistic is completely made up.

  • The Celtics are simply unwatchable. Paul Pierce is irritated that he's the only good player on the team. Apparently he had trouble with the math equation of Two Good Players Minus One Good Player Equals Only One Good Player. And you know what no one is saying? Jim O'Brien is stinking it up. This offense is terrible despite having a world-class two guard and an all-star power forward (shocking but true: Vin Baker). The point guards make me want to shoot myself, and Jiri Welsch and Kedrick Brown make my Dad look Larry Legend (note: my Dad is not Larry Legend), but our centers are adequate. The point is: O'Brien is making a decent team into a bad one. He claims he wants them to run, then lets Mike James Manny-Ramirez the ball up the floor. He won't put in any offense for Pierce, forcing him to get the ball at the arc in a double team fifteen times a game. And this is not "two steps back, one step forward" - it's "two steps back, two steps back". No one is learning a thing from this nonsense. It's just disgusting. The Celtics have lost to the Bulls and twice to the Knicks. Unreal.

  • Someone visited The Ninth as a result of a Google search for "Dave McCarty Trade Rumors". Uh, guy, I do earnestly appreciate the visit and I hope you like what you read, but I don't think there's much in the way of McCarty rumors. Anywhere. What's the chance that wasn't Dave McCarty?

  • No matter how thrilling a Patriots' win gets, and last week was quite a doozy, the articles on Monday just aren't that fun to read. And I think Boston has pretty good writers (although the only thing worse than a daily Kevin Mannix article is a daily Nick Cafardo article), there's just something about the sport that doesn't lend itself well to reporting. When the Red Sox win, I get a special kick out of knowing there will be good reading to do at the "office" the next day. Not so with football. I have no thesis. Any ideas?

  • Just saw that Bonzi Wells got traded to Memphis for Wesley Person. Amazing that Bonzi's stock has fallen so low. Well I guess it isn't actually. Is there a more hilarious pair in NBA history than Hubie Brown and the Bonzinater? I would make jokes, but they would all be stolen from Bill Simmons. Sports Guy, get on this immediately.

  • Quietly, well sort of quietly, the Yankees have put together an unreal bullpen. Rivera, Gordon, Quantrill, a healthy Karsay, and Heredia and White on the way. Is every single member of this group being over-paid? Absolutely. Does Georgey Fats care at all? No. That Luxury Tax thing is working out exactly as planned.

  • Mike Adams really has no business being on the air.

  • I think the Blue Jays are going to be a bit of a problem next year. Their frightening offense is essentially the same as 2003, but with a healthy Eric Hinske. Their rotation at this moment features Roy Halladay, Pat Hentgen, and Ted Lilly. They have no closer and they did just sign Bruce Chen, but those 18 games are going to be tough.

  • Curt Schilling is in for a surprise when he realizes that people in Boston don't use the phrase "when we win the World Series" all that often.

  • By far the scariest game left on the Patriots schedule, in my opinion, is Week 16 at the Jets. Chad Pennington gunning for the playoffs is not something I want to go up against. They could very easily win the other three though.