Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Fantastic Jokes

If you hear these things, your Fantasy Baseball draft is probably in trouble....

Dude, you can't draft Dante Bichette twice, and he doesn't play anymore.

I like to build a team that only Jimy Williams could manage.

How many cards do you need for a flush?

If my team were a Queer makeover specialist, it would be Jai on Culture.

Man do I have a lot of Mets.

Somebody ashed on my pizza.

I'm a little worried about the chemistry in my locker room.

It's cool if I use a dial-up modem, right?

Hey dude, I got all the best middle relievers.

I hate the Yankees. I refuse to draft any Yankees.

Hey, let's give each other nicknames! I call Ace!

I'm banking on Benitez having a comeback year.

So what's the policy on inter-team dating? Vanessa, why don't you field this one.

Did you guys get a chance to read my blog? Feedback?

They don't call him Steve "First Round" Trachsel for nothing.

Who's your favorite Care Bear? I think mine might be Cozy Heart Penguin, even though he's not technically a bear.

I carry this picture of Cam Bonifay around in my wallet.

No, you can't use your 50-50.

Don't worry, I left Auto-Draft on, I'm sure it'll pick a perfectly goo.... oh great, Aaron Boone.

Uh, Mr. Selig, it's your pick.

You're like the Simon of the league, cause you're sort of mean, but funny sometimes....and you, you're totally Paula, because when you laugh your hair does this li....wait, guys, I can't breathe. Please, you're, strggllll.......

Alright, I guess I'll go with Shea Hillenbrand.

Does anybody know who the Pirates closer is going to be?

No, I'll bring my laptop to Vegas, it shouldn't be a big deal.

I'm picking based on most common facial expression.

I really miss Tim McCarver.

and finally....

There's no way Ken Griffey/Cliff Floyd/Matt Mantei/Jermaine Dye/Larry Walker/Geoff Jenkins is getting hurt again.

Thank you, and good night.