Thursday, March 18, 2004

Loose Change

  • Irish bartenders love nothing more than an order of Miller Lite on St. Patty's day. Not my fault they didn't have Michelob Ultra.


  • The Comboy Up retrospective comes so close to showing the hot dog woman getting slammed by Kapler's home run, it's almost erotic. You see the ball heading her way...clearing the wall...making contact, but then they cut away. And worst of all, the voice over guy makes no mention of it -- as if fans are regularly given an unexpected howdy do by a home run ball. They rob us of that great moment when she gets hit in the neck and her expression changes from passionate celebration to struggle and shock as she chokes up the, shall we say, ambitious bite of dog. And then the belly-revealing cheer that tells the fans around her:1) Don't worry, I'm ok...and 2) I'm sort of a freak show. That's what Cowboy Up is all about.


  • We all love the RemDog, but Bob Tewksbury did a great job filling in the other day.


  • You know you're in Atlantic City when you get hurried into the side of a nickel slot machine so a woman in a stretcher can get to her ambulance.


  • Everyone seems to be supportive of Manny in the three slot and Nomar cleaning up, but no one is saying why. Yes, it will get Ramirez more AB's, and ok, they have both faired better in those positions earlier in their career -- but that's sort of an empty stat. The real improvement will come from pitch selection. Using Manny to protect Nomar, as Grady did last year, is pointless. Garciaparra rarely waits around long enough to benefit from get-me-over pitches late in the count, and that's what a dangerous following hitter provides. You don't want to just give Manny a runner on base, so you try to get Nomie out, even if it means getting a bit too much of the plate. But when he hacks at the first crummy slider he sees, things can't swing in his favor. Manny, on the other hand, got nibbled all last year, and without an established threat backing him up, he saw a ton of balls just off the outside edge. Even Manny can't do a ton with that. The flip-flop should give him more to hit, without it really hurting Nomar. Good thinking The...oh, I mean Terry.


  • Nobody loves Jimmy Fallon quite like Jimmy Fallon.


  • There's something fun about the John Carroll era with the Celtics. Even if they won the Championship he wouldn't be asked back, and nobody knows that better than Johnny C. His substitution patterns are erratic, his post-game comments are a little one flew over the nest, and his players are getting into fights during practice. Who cares? Ainge wants more PT for Banks and Hunter? Too bad. Daddy wants to coach in the playoffs, and he won't be getting another shot at that so.... Chucky, you're in!


  • I've said it before and I'll say it again: Bronson Arroyo is going to have a lot of trouble with lefties.


  • Does anyone have any doubt that Bud Selig will do absolutely nothing to fix this steroid issue? Yeah, he'd like to use the "Best Interest of the Game" thing, but is there anything in his past to suggest he would take such a bold and necessary stand? Nope. If it wasn't for his league realignment and wild card development, Selig's entire Commish career would be a failure. The odd thing is, his heart is really in the right place. Whatever. Go Brewers!


  • Speaking of failure, imagine what it's like to be Omarosa's husband.


  • Some fantasy suggestions: Derek Lowe up, Barry Zito down. Matt Morris up, Hideo Nomo down. Eric Hinske up, Miguel Tejada down. And no, I am not above giving fake predictions to confuse players in my league.


  • Word is now that Trot Nixon has a "slightly" herniated disk, and will be out six weeks. That means he can begin baseball activity sometime in late April. Which also means Sox fans will be seeing a lot more of Ellis Burks and Gape Kapler. The Ninth has discussed Trot before, but he's an interesting case for a corner outfielder. His defense is distinctly overrated, but his offense - especially last year - is not given its due. In '03, Nixon had a better OPS than Jim Thome, Jason Giambi, Magglio Ordonez and Jeff Bagwell. He drove in 87 runs in only 441 AB's, that's about 1 in every 5. So, in very general terms, every time Trot started and finished a game, he drove in a run. Nixon is turning 30 in a couple weeks, so it's very possible that '03 was the best season he will ever have - but his bat will be sorely missed. Back problems for a power hitter aren't a good thing, and it's optimistic to imagine seeing much of Nixon before mid May. Burks will need to carry much of the load, as Kapler can't hit anything on the outer-half of the plate with authority. You can't get away with holes like that in the regular season. Oh, and Nomar is wearing a cast. Yippee. Anyone have Mike Lansing's number?


  • What's the point of working out if you're going to do so at a pace that allows cell phone discussion? If you can carry on a full conversation, you're probably not burning a whole lot of calories. When the Ninth works out it is such a frenzied mess of sweat, limbs, and water bottles that I think my cell phone would drowned. And boy would the person on the other end have a good time. "Are you having a seizure? I think I gotta go...."

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