Two by Nine, 06.10.04

Sorry gang, busy day, but...

1. How many times in Nomar's career has someone intentionally walked the previous hitter to get to him? I would say less than five. Maybe it happened a few times in his rookie season, but he hit mostly leadoff then and I doubt they were walking too many #9's. We saw it last night though, and he made them pay. Double off the wall, 2 RBI's. Boy was that fun.

2. The great thing about Manny is sometimes you can tell a ball is gone before he even swings. When you saw Valdes' saggy little curve start to bend toward the heart of the strike zone last night, you just knew Manny was gonna lose it. Sure enough, over the monster seats. D-licious.

6 Innings of Nomar

Well, he was back last night. And he swung at the first pitch. Wouldn't have been right if he didn't. Nomar bounced a nice single through the left side on the second pitch he saw, then in his next at-bat, ripped a ball to left field. It was caught, but it was one of those lasers that only he seems to be able to hit. He later made one of his trademark plays in the hole, but Hands Dominique couldn't pull the throw out of the dirt. Or avoid tossing the ball in the stands immediately afterwards. You've just been Dominiqued! Garciaparra's most notable moments however, happened before he put the uniform back on.

At 4:15 yesterday Nomar held a little press conference about getting back from the injury, and it was carried in and outside of Boston. He answered questions about what he was expecting that night, how much he would he play, what delayed his comeback, even if he was trying to stick it to the Sox management. Some goofy questions, but mostly standard stuff. Would've been easy enough to give some pat answers, smile to the writers, and get on with preparing for the game. But Nomar didn't do that. No, instead, he put on his most passive aggressive smile, his most subtly sarcastic laugh, and went about scolding the men who wanted his information. It wasn't Barry Bonds or Carl Everett territory, but it was almost as obnoxious. Nomar is too smart, and, honestly, too polite, to overtly demean a reporter or insult him, so he takes the edge off. He pretends like he's having a good time, like he's enjoying a playful back and forth, and peppers each of his remarks with a forceful laugh. "Nomar, did you feel like you took your time coming back?" "Ha ha, no no, were I to have taken my time, old chum, I wouldn't have returned 'til frightful late August! What a predicament that would have been, eh?" That's what he wants us to hear, but it's not what it sounds like. There's a tension in his voice and an anger in his tone. Rather than "hey friend", he seems to be expressing more of a "shut up jerk." The constant subtext is, "how dare you ask me that?". But he's subtle about it. He talks in such a manner that if ever called on being unpleasant, he could simply note that he was laughing and had a smile on his face. Yes, he's technically filling his role as a helpful ballplayer, but the animosity is so palpable you feel sorry for the reporters. Not an easy feat. You know Nomar hates having this conversation, and he's going make the writers pay for putting him through it. It's very awkward, and more than a little childish. It seems from his reaction yesterday and his comments in the past that Garciaparra genuinely cares for the fans of Boston, but can't tolerate their emissary, the reporters. It's an understandable stance, but it's one that might eventually steer him out of the city. Don't you think? How do you agree to stay in a place where you know you'll have to have a daily root canal? That's what yesterday's press conference sounded like, and it was no worse or better than the questions he must face everyday. So while it was nice to have Nomar back between the lines, the live glimpse we got of him outside them was far more significant. We've heard before that he doesn't like it here, but yesterday we got to see it. Too bad really, could've been a fun day.

Tonight's actual lineup:

Damon CF
Bellhorn 2B
Ortiz DH
Ramirez LF
Garciaparra SS
Varitek C
Millar RF
Dominique 1B
Youkilis 3B

Daubach outrighted, Brown sent down. Nomar and Malaska up. Certainly some surprises...

Oh Happy Day

As Silvio likes to say, "Just when I thought I was out....". The Ninth unfortunately had to miss last night's game, so I can't relay much about how Pedro actually looked. From all tell however, he was spectacular. Best start of the year, perhaps the best in a long while. Fastball consistently in the mid 90's with sharp curveball and control. Sounds like a blast, too bad I missed it. Luckily, the evening was captured on TiVo (get one - now) and will be perused at my leisure - the way God intended it. So last night, we had a dominant Pedro, tonight we have the return of Nomar. Holy Christmas.

Nothing has been announced officially yet, but Dirtdogs has him coming back this eve, and they're right far more than they're wrong. This brings up a few points of interest. Firstly, be prepared for lots of days off. The average manager is pretty careful with the returning injured, and Francona has shown an extreme, shall we say, sensitivity, to this issue. I would expect him to start tonight and tomorrow (one of the two at DH), then have Friday off, followed by starts in both weekend games. Monday is a travel day, so his next game off will probably be Thursday, which is a day game after a night game. Managers hate that. He also will probably sit on Saturday, for the same reason. Fans are able to accept this sort of thing early on, but take this as a warning, it will go on longer than you wish. Obviously they're using mittens with Nomar (and their other wounded), so don't expect to have your Everday Eddie back quite yet.

Another issue is the lineup. Does Tito break Nomar in in the two hole, or does he give him back his usual three slot? Or perhaps will he try out the Manny/Nomar switch he discussed in Spring Training? Hard to say. My guess is tonight's lineup will look like this:

Damon CF
Youkilis 3B
Garciaparra SS
Ramirez LF
Ortiz DH
Varitek C
Millar RF
Daubach 1B
Reese 2B

Maybe Bellhorn gets the start, and the 6-8 hitters could move a bit, but that's my best hunch. Looks a lot better, doesn't it? But let's not get too greedy. Word is Nomar extended his rehab mostly to get his timing right, and we'll probably see some residue from that tonight. Usually against returning players, pitchers go with lots of offspeed stuff and fastballs on the hands. They figure either your bat is slow or your timing is off, and for a few days they're probably right. So look for that. But, let's not forget Nomar's triumphant return from wrist injury in '01 -- first game back: game-tying home run. Can't you hear Doughnuts now? "Welcome Back Nomar Garciaparra....". Ah promos. Anyway, the point here is: we're all very excited to have Nomar back, but we should temper our enthusiasm with reasonable expectations. He might be great, but he probably won't. He'll miss some days, and he'll take some ugly swings, and responsible fans ought to prepare themselves. Honestly though - screw responsibility. I hope he hits one out.

Nomah.

Nine by Nine, 06.06.04

1. First things first, Derek Lowe looked quite good yesterday. Yeah, he didn't pitch that deep, and he did give up the bomb to Mike Sweeney, but his stuff looked quick. The lateral movement that we've discussed before was replaced with a nice, sharp horizontal one, and ground balls were not finding holes. The one pitch that was hit quite hard, Sweeney's home run in the first, was a hanging curve and not a flat sinker, which is good news, I guess. That pitch was actually sort of a turning point. Before it, DLowe was tentative, concerned about how the game would turn out. He looked to be aiming the ball, hoping this wouldn't be another afternoon of disaster. But after he gave it up, he settled, almost saying "ok, that's out of the way." From there on, Lowe was very tough. He attacked the strike zone hard, and even with distinctly mediocre umpiring (one of the most uneven games this season) he kept ahead in the count. For a pitcher who has had a lot of trouble out of the stretch, it's somewhat egg and chicken - did he pitch well because he kept runners off base, or did he keep runners of base because he pitched well? Not really clear. But his sinker was moving, and he was throwing it for strikes. That's the important first step, and it will win more times than it won't. Tony Cloninger said over the weekend that you're going to look up at the end of the season and Lowe's going to have 16 or 17 wins, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts he's right. For now, he's going in the right direction.

2. Ken Rosenthal posted this annoying rumor this weekend, which details a scenario in which the Yankees could send Contreras to Florida for Carlos Beltran. Uh..... what? How exactly do you trade away a wildly overpaid 4th starter, and get back an All-Star centerfielder? Even if you do pay most of Contreras' contract, it doesn't make sense. The Marlins, who apparently would use Jose as a set-up man, are so desperate for relievers that they'd rather have an unproven, non-closer than just keeping Beltran themselves? Have they watched Contreras? He makes inconsistent look consistent. If Florida could nab Beltran and felt like financially they had move him again, why wouldn't they at least go for an established, dominant reliever? Guardado? Dotel? Hawkins? Farnsworth? Heck, I'd rather have Williamson than Contreras, wouldn't you?

One other thing about Beltran, now that we're discussing it - why is he so good again? Great player, sure. All-Star, absolutely. But I'm not sure his presence swings the AL East (or any division) power structure one way or the other. Having watched him several times now, he strikes me as more of an Andruw Jones than a Barry Bonds. Which is nice to have, but how much does it cost? He's only had an OPS over .900 once.

3. I don't know about you guys, but The Ninth is getting a smidge tired of the law firm of Crespo, McCarty, Martinez & Dinardo. Yesterday's lineup had last season's number nine hitter batting third, and Kapler, Crespo, and Reese kickin' it in the caboose. I'm less angry than I am bored. It's just not fun watching these guys. And is Cesar really the best utility man available? Yeah, he had a nice spring, but the guy is a mess offensively. As Dave Moss would say, this guy couldn't find his bat with two hands and a map. Well, he'd say that, but he'd mean something else. I accept that utility guys don't hit, but two 2 RBI in 75 AB's is a punchline, not a statistic. I know that Theo could've improved this slot if he wanted to - so why didn't he want to? And then, when you're done with the offense, you have more uninteresting mediocrity in the bullpen. Please - Burks, Nomar, Trot, Willy, BK - come on back. It's just not as fun without you.

4. In the second inning Terry Kraft called a pitch over McCarty's shoulders and 3 inches off the plate a strike. Probably one of the worst calls I've ever seen. Just because he's a bad player, and it's early game, doesn't mean you get to ad-lib on the strike zone Ter. That wasn't a strike, and you know it. Oh, and by the way, you stunk the rest of the game too.

5. Boston scores runs best when one of the opponents punches his teammate in the face while trying to throw the ball. That really gets a rally going.

6. Does anyone else realize that Billy Superstar Beane has traded away the last TWO Rookies of the Year? Angel Berroa, last year's #1 freshman, left Oakland in the three way trade that brought the A's Johnny Damon. Two years ago, the AL ROY was Eric Hinske, who was sent away by Beane for lovable closer Billy Koch. It should also be mentioned that both Damon and Koch spent only one season each in Oakland. Not a lot of bang for your quality rookie buck. There were defensible reasons for these trades, but that's a lot of cheap talent to be letting get away.

7. Is there anything less logical than Royal fans booing Johnny Damon? Guys - he was traded! From a team that had Jeff Suppan, Mac Suzuki, Blake Stein, Chad Durbin, and Jay Witasick as its starting five. What was his fault exactly?

8. Nomar Garciaparra is leading AL shortstops in All Star voting, despite having very similar numbers to recently deceased U.S. President Ronald Reagan. The Ninth feels that Schill, Manny, and Foulke are locks for the team, while Tek, Ortiz, and Wake all deserve consideration. If, however, Nomar and Damon make the squad due to somewhat questionable voter judgement, it'll hurt the bubble players.

9. God Bless the Pistons. Do what the Spurs should've done and knock those Lakers out. Bums.

Loose Change

Because yesterday's game was dreadful, and because I have some random thoughts, we'll go a bit more free form today. And by free, I mean I won't number the notes. Irons, you are cast off.

One emailer asked this very morn: Do we officially start worrying about Derek Lowe? Well, something tells me, regardless of my answer, you will officially start worrying anyway. As I have mentioned before, this is not new ground for Derek. After May of 2003, Lowe's ERA was 5.36, it presently is holding strong at 6.84. While they both fall solidly in category of "really bad", this year he is a full run and a half worse. How do we explain this greater decline? Quite simply, bad luck. Last season, opposing batters were hitting in the high .280's against Lowe at this time, which was alarming, but right now they're at .338. That is absurd. Sinkerballers pitch to contact. They want the opponent to swing at the first pitch they see and drive it into the ground. Because there are more gentlemen standing around the infield with mits than the outfield, this usually creates outs. But if those balls happen to find holes, batting averages go up. Not much Derek can do about that. He can get the ball to sink, but once a batter hits it, his job is basically finished. Right now, balls are finding holes to the tune of .338. His groundball to flyball ratio is lower than usual, which isn't a good sign, but for those who have been watching him, his main problem has been control and not getting the double play when he needs it. You can tinker with the former, but the latter is a question for the Gods. As it, mostly, Derek's poor performance so far. Mechanics are an issue, especially in the stretch, but you can bet Wallace & Co. are on top of that. All you can really do now, sadly, is pitch him and wait. Sooner or later, that luck will change. Sinkers will sink, games will be won.

You just knew Keith Foulke wouldn't get the loss this weekend. He might blow the save, but the game would be won. Thanks to The Dominator and Dave McCarty. But how quiet was Fenway when Ibanez hit that three run bomb? It's like we forgot that could happen.

Alright, where the heck is Ramiro Mendoza? I know most of you are just happy to see him gone, but he's stealing money. He's getting paid a lot of cash, and if he's hurt then I'm Serena Williams. Mendoza is hiding down in Florida, hoping we'll all forget why we boo him so much. But someone should call him on it, because this is ridiculous. He doesn't even have a diagnosable injury.

A list of people who have more RBI's than Kevin Millar: Alex Sanchez, Pokey Reese, Miguel Olivo, Enrique Wilson, Bill Hall, and Mark DeRosa. There are articles about how he hit a home run yesterday. Yippee. So if he can't hit, and leads the league in outfield dives that don't result in a catch, why doesn't Tito start Kapler?

Kevin Youkilis remind anyone of else of Wilton Veras? Third baseman who comes up as a bench player when a surprise roster spot opens up and plays pretty well. People wonder if he can do it everyday. Then, all of a sudden, his predecessor gets hurt (for Veras it was John Valentin), and fans get their answer. For Veras, it was decidedly not. A few weeks good, then a few months very very bad. Youk has given us the good, let's see if he can hold it up. Remember how easily things can change when teams see you once.

Nomar might be back in a week, but the sad reality is, we need Trot more.

Gammons floated the possibility of a Youkilis, Abe Alvarez, and Shoppach package for Carlos Beltran. That seems like a lot without confidence you can sign him. And what happens to Damon? Also, it makes Varitek a must sign, which Boras would sniff out in a second.

Bronson Arroyo vs. Bartolo Colon sure smacks of "disappointing stay up until 1am", doesn't it?

Check

Look, it's easy to say the Red Sox are good when they're 5 of their last 6. Michael Silverman thinks it's time to stop and smell the roses. Sure, fine, sniff a flower, but this isn't the way it's supposed to work. You don't trash a team when they get swept and vaunt them when they sweep. Two weeks ago the Red Sox were being taken apart for lousy defense and mediocre hitting, and now, seven wins later (5 against Toronto and Tampa Bay) they're going to cruise to the playoffs? If there is any reaction more Bostonian, I'd love to know what it is. They're a team, folks. They will play badly and they will play well. If you're going to continually judge their ability by what happened in the last 5 days then you're going to continually be wrong. Our job as fans, writers, and, dare I say, thinkers, is to take a critical look at this club and try to establish the BIG PICTURE. How are they on the whole, how do we expect them to fare over the long haul, what standards can we reasonably hold them to? Look at the club, think about its strengths and weaknesses, and form a permanent friggin opinion. When they play badly, stick to it. Say, "You know, they stink right now, but they're better than this, they'll turn it around". When they're hot, be aware that they will cool off and eventually find their level. Unless you feel they're aces, and they'll beat everyone (not an unreasonable opinion). But don't just sway with the tides of talk show callers and anecdotal blowouts. That's simple, average, and frankly, sort of boring. If all else fails, remember the great words of one of this country's finest adjuticators, Judge Smails:

It's easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

Have a good Memorial Day. Go Sox.

May 13, 2004

Angela,

I am writing you from what seems to be a facilities closet here at Skydome. I'm not really a technical guy, so I couldn't say for certain, but it sure is noisy and there's a strange electrical box in the corner that is spewing a lot of smoke. It's hard to write without any light, so if my penmanship is a little messy, I apologize. If Mom could see me now!

So I'm sorry that I made a little bit of a scene back there. I really had no idea that the behind homeplate area is restricted to special ticket holders. I just wanted to say "Hi", and explain to you about the garbage thing in person. I really think the security guy was being a jerk, and while I agree that the word "Fascist" wasn't totally appropriate, it wasn't totally not appropriate either. I mean, you're a valued employee, you should be able to have friends visit you at your job, right? I just think someone should have your best interests in mind. If you want, I can talk to him again for you. Once I find a way out of this closet.

How funny was that second security guy who showed up! "Hey man, you can't be down here without a ticket!" Like we hadn't covered that already. And jeez buddy, I'm here with my friend Angela, so why doesn't everyone relax. I really did want to talk with you, but when the third and fourth security person showed up, I figured it was probably better to wait for another time. Don't have to tell me twice. I guess I have a lot to learn about Canadian culture, because I started running just to get back to my seat, but the guys seemed to think I had done something wrong, so they started chasing me. What a mix up! And if there's one thing I've learned it's that when someone starts chasing you, boy is it hard to get them to stop. So I looked and looked for a way to get back to my seat, but they started getting closer so I decided to just duck into this closet for a bit. But the door seems to have locked behind me. And that box is really smoking a lot. I'm sure I'll get out in no time though, and maybe we can grab those chicken fingers we were talking about?

Hey, I think I just found a light switch. Oh, gotta go now.

TN

Injury Train A Rollin'

Bill Mueller is getting his knee scoped, out 6 weeks. So, in typical Red Sox fashion, he should be back on the field just in time for Shrek 3. Andy Dominique has been called up. It will be interesting to see what Youkilis can do with consistent playing time, and a few scouts have rumbled about The Dominator having major league ability. Unfortunately, he's consistently left his glove in San Francisco. Not sure where he fits on a major league diamond other than at pitch hitter and DH. But, with Millar having only 12 more RBI's than I do, that might not be a bad thing. Guess we know now who sits between Bellhorn and Reese when Nomar comes back. Neither.

Nine By Nine, 05.23.04

Sorry about Friday and the lateness today. Sometimes fake day jobs don't realize they are so.

1. Hey everybody, yesterday was Vermont Day at Fenway Park! Let's celebrate Vermont, the home of outlet stores (wait, that's Maine), Mount Washington (sorry, that's New Hampshire), and inbreeding (also New Hampshire). Syrup, maple syrup. That's Vermont. What goes better with several hours of athletic competition than some warm, sugary tree sap? Get those hotcakes ready boys, it's Vermont day! Why are we doing this again?

2. Ok, as we discussed, the Sox have already taken the first two, so we're going to be satisfied if they don't sweep, right? Sweeps are tough to pull off, and are above reasonable expectations, right? We're not gonna cry if we lose, agreed? Oh look, we won! Thank God.

3. Johnny Damon, a historically slow starter, has had a very nice beginning to the season. Not quite as good as his first year in Boston, but easily the second best start he's had since leaving the Royals. What happened to that Johnny Damon, the guy who sprayed line drives all over the park and had an OPS over .850, we may never know. But remember, that guy couldn't play much centerfield. This one can.

4. Kevin Youkilis' batting stance = Shea Hillenbrand's stance. I'm serious. It's creepy. Ok, maybe that doesn't really count as creepy.

5. Mark The Ninth's Words: Bronson Arroyo's 8 inning shutout of Toronto will be viewed as a turning point for this team. Since then, Boston is 6-2, has outscored its opponents 50-20, and has made only two errors. Yeah they've played bad clubs, but they've been at a higher level. Slick, confident play. All started by Charles Bronson Arroyo.

6. In the bottom of the third, Miguel Batista had given up 6 runs, thrown 90 pitches, and still had a runner on 2nd -- a delicious deli sandwich known as the Wes Gardner. Good for him. But the crazy thing is, only after the sixth run score did Carlos Tosca get anyone up. The game is already over Carlos. You might as well leave Batista in there at this point. Why don't you pull him when you know he does have it and give yourself a chance to win the game? Managers don't do this enough. If you have a non-premier pitcher going, the kind of guy who can fight his way out of trouble, and he clearly has no stuff, pull him early and give your team a prayer. Sure it hurts your bullpen, but chances are you're gonna up yanking him before the sixth anyway. If you're gonna juice your long man, you might as well do it when it counts.

7. Timlin threw two changeups to Carlos Delgado yesterday, and I don't think I've ever seen him throw even one. Carlos, for the record, swung and missed at both.

8. In the 8th inning, with a 7-2 advantage, Francona went to Timlin for an 1.3 innings, which is otherwise known as "too much". As the 9th began, he had Foulke warming up. Why? In case Josh Phelps hit a 3 run homer with no one on? And why does Terry keep doing this? This is Jamie Brown, Everyday Lenny Dinardo territory. Big lead, bad team, closers no throw. Things got tight after Timlin retired Phelps to start the 9th, so Francs went to Embree to get the last two outs. Phew. At this rate Boston will have three different relievers with over sixty appearances. Not the end of the world, but quite strange.

9. The site has been going very well lately, and I want to thank all you regulars for the loyal traffic. Every little bit counts. We've had some great links and hits have been on the up and up. As always, any questions, reactions, or requests you might have, hit me with an email. And if you can drop the link to a few of your buddies, hey, that'd be great too. Seacrest out.

Blogger Sucks

Thanks for the free service Blogger, but you just ate my whole damn post. Gone. In the trash can, and it was good too. So don't change your interface until it works right you jerks.

Because there's no way I'm typing that again, here's a quick run down.

1. Pokey is a better fielder than Nomar. Sad but true.

2. Rob Bell = Chris Parnell, figure out why on your own.

3. Todd Walker Guy now heckles Mark Bellhorn. Sox fans aren't Classy, make own connection.

4. Zimmer lives 15 minutes from the ball park and 15 minutes from the track. How nice.

5. Schilling wanted a perfect game last night.

6. Foulke's the best Sox closer ever. Or is he? Mysterious, hu?

7. Wow Dick Radatz was good. Seriously, check out his stats. Write your own column about it. Just don't do it on Blogger, because they'll lose it.

8. Francona should've gone with DiNardo instead of Embree.

9. Oh I don't even remember.

May 11, 2004

Dear Angela,

Please don't get angry. I know that it was weird of me to show up outside your building. Let me explain. I stopped by Skydome to pre-locate some good parking for the games, and I talked with Terry in custodial services (what a character!) who turned out to be really nice. I know people say that about Canada all the time, that everyone's really nice, but I have to say that everyone's really nice. And anyway, Terry seemed to have plenty of time to chat, so we got to talking about things, and eventually you came up. He told me your name, and said you were quite beautiful. I didn't think that was really appropriate of Terry to say, but at the same time I had to agree. We talked a little about concessions, the Blue Jays, even the custodial arts, but it turned out that Terry was sort of long-winded. I told him I had to get going then asked for your address, but he couldn't provide it, and we got into a bit of an argument. Turns out Terry isn't that nice.

But he did give me your name, which I thanked him for, and thought perhaps I would look you up. I went to the phone booth where I've been storing a few of my things and flipped through the Toronto phone book. There you were: Angela Worth -- 374 Dundas Street, 416-739-6272. Amazing to see you in black and white. I guess it's actually black and yellow. LOL. You live right near this great stationery store I wanted to check out, so I figure'd I'd just drive by and see your place. I wasn't going to honk or waive or anything, just wanted to get a feel for the neighborhood, but right as I passed by I noticed a little raccoon knock over one of your trash cans. What a rascal. So I figured I'd be a pal and pull over and tidy it up for you, which is, of course, what you saw when you drove up.

It was really great to finally come in contact with you, and I felt like even though we haven't officially met, there was a spark. I know I must have looked a little funny standing there messing with your garbage, and I could tell by the way you shouted "dirty hobo" that you got the joke too. Of course I'm not a hobo, I'm your pal-to-be, T.N.! I'm sorry if I wasn't able to pick up all of the rubbish, but your dog seemed really angry, so I thought it would be best to mosey on. Anyway, it was really exciting to see you and exchange words, and I'm looking even more forward to Thursday than before. Just send me that email (topofninth@yahoo.com) and we can figure out a place to meet before the game. This time, I'll bring the garbage! Just kidding. Ok Angela, talk soon.

Friends,

T.N.

May 10, 2004

Dear Toronto Behind Home Plate Waitress,

Hey, it's T.N. again. Just wanted to let you know that I arrived in town a little earlier than expected. I got into a big fight with my Mom about the car, so I just had to bust out of there right away. Don't worry, it's no big deal, we can still drive around, we just shouldn't eat, or drink, or smoke in the car. Or carry heavy stuff. You know how it is. If you need to carry heavy stuff, we can figure something out.

Anyway, I haven't gotten any emails from you, so you probably sent a letter to my Boston house that's sitting there now, while I'm here. Uh oh! Don't worry, I'll read it when I get back, unless my Mom sees it and confiscates it. She's always confiscating my stuff. If you need it again, my email is topofninth@yahoo.com. It's a free account.

So I'll probably just spend a few days seeing the sights with my extra time. I understand Toronto has a great Aerospace museum, and that there is almost no chance of getting SARS, so I'm looking forward to having a look around. If you have any recommendations for cheap hotels, please let me know, because I'm high and dry for a few days. I didn't plan on coming this early, so I don't have much reserved. I'll have to really make those vacation dollars stretch!

I noticed the Blue Jays are on the road too, maybe you're off work? Or do you have a second job? Even if you don't have time to write a full response, just send me a quick email (address above) with your name so I'll know what to call you when we meet. Gotta run now, my blueberry is beeping, maybe it's you!!

Sincerely,

T.N.

p.s.: It wasn't you

May 7, 2004

Dear Toronto Behind Home Plate Waitress,

Hello, how are you doing? I bet you're good. I am feeling pretty well myself. Although I am definitely looking forward to letting off a little steam this weekend. Are you? I hear that Toronto is kind of boring, but you probably know the hidden cool places that us out-of-towners have never heard of. Like where to get good chicken fingers and stuff. Do you like chicken fingers?

Before we get too personal, you're probably wondering who I am. My proper name is The Ninth, but you can call me T.N. which is a nickname a lot of my pals use. I know we aren't pals yet, but I think it's good to start on the right foot. My mom always said, "start off on the wrong foot, and you'll end on a worse one", which is weird because I think it means you have to have three feet, but it's been an important lesson all the same. So you can call me T.N., what should I call you?

Anyway, so much small talk! I have been a big fan of yours for a long time, and I felt like we probably would definitely hit it off, so I thought I should drop you a note. I know that sometimes people will just walk up to you and say "Hi!", or visit your house at weird hours, but I am not them and I wouldn't do that. I understand that being on TV a lot, you're in the public eye and can't just be nice to everyone. I'm that way too, and I think we would understand each other. You see, I write a popular internet webblog about sports, so I get a lot of letters too. I know it's not easy to answer all of them, so I'm not angry that you haven't written back to my other mailings. I know you read them, and that's what matters.

So I was planning on heading up to Toronto for next weekend's Red Sox series, and thought I would let you know in advance. I'm from Boston and I've always wanted to see the big Skydome, so I'm gonna borrow my Mom's Cutlass and do the drive. What a trip! I'll be getting in Wednesday night so if you want to maybe grab a drink or chicken fingers or something, that could be fun. But if you're busy I can just wait to meet you at the game. I'm really looking forward to seeing where you work and what that luxury box is like in person. I like how you have it set up, with drinks on your left and hot dogs on your right. I've thought about it and it's really the best way to do it. Anyway, these are things we can talk about it in person. If you want to get in touch with me, just email me at topofninth@yahoo.com. I'll be checking it on my blueberry every hour or so. I'm really looking forward to hearing from you, and I can't believe we're gonna see each other so soon.

Bye For Now, Your Pal (Soon)

TN